First Signs of Adversity

I'm apprehensive and it's to be expected (by me) - it's my m.o.  Even though I'm up front and speak my mind I lean towards being a "runner" in fight-or-flight situations.  I feel embarrassed by that, by myself.  I have accustomed myself to a feeling of failure and disappointment (It's an Asian thing...like an Asian "F"), and am working on balancing that out with positivity, meditation, "self-help"ish material, etc.  I was actually gifted time to learn TM (Transcendental Meditation) and it has been instrumental in stress relief.

Sensitivity to results is heightened, and due to a conscious hyper-awareness I'm seeking feedback of all sorts.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  I'm mentally preparing for the failure...read as feedback/information... so that I don't spiral into a binging period.  To be perfectly honest, I'm a stress eater.  In stressful situations, I will put anything into my mouth that's within arm's reach.  It's a hot mess!  Think of Hungry Hungry Hippo.

Some things come out of left field.  I have learned to stop, assess, reflect, meditate, and breathe when going over a scenario before coming to a conclusion which will lead to a solution.  (That's the nice way of saying I won't lose my sh*t due to being uber cranky)  I absolutely need a solution or I feel stuck, panicky, the anxious version of "hangry"...how about "hanxious"?
 
About 2 weeks ago, an acquaintance at church approached me and stated, "Oh, Olive, you look like you're getting bigger.  Your arms look bigger.  Are you gaining weight?".  I know she wasn't trying to upset me, but it sure came at the wrong time.  I explained that I had been working out/lifting weights and that they're just getting more fit, muscular.  But seriously, what woman wants to be told that their arms OF ALL THINGS look bigger?!?  NONE.  **Tip for men who ever think of telling a woman that: DON'T.  It may be appropriate (MAY BE) if they're training for some sort of physique competition, but in all other cases....just don't.**   This comment coming from another woman.  It's like going against woman-code.

THAT threw me off for the rest of the day and it sent my brain simultaneously into opposite directions.  I wanted to diet even harder just to get this show on the road and wanted to stuff my face with a jalapeno & cheese bagel (with low fat cream cheese of course ... facepalm).

Stress = eating

I wonder if Electroconvulsive Therapy is still an option...